They say that God made us in his own image and one thing is for sure, that we are the creators of our own worlds, our own experience. Perhaps, we should stop asking the age old question, what is the meaning of life? But rather, ask ourselves, what meaning do I choose to give to this life? Finding your purpose is the most powerful and enlightening experiences you can have, however, creating and manifesting the expressions of your purpose in your life is where you find all the gifts. I am reminded of a beautiful quote by Tony Robbins ‘’the goal is your destination but the journey is your destiny’.
When I arrived in Dubai I was on the tail end of a very dark time in my life, I had come out of a very intense relationship, I had working for company that was going bankrupt and essentially had nothing left emotionally, materialistically and even spiritually. Interestingly, just before that I had been doing very well in my life, having left university I had a good job in the city where I made more money than most people my age, I had a great apartment, I went to the nicest venues in London and had a good friends. Nevertheless, I was unable to fully appreciate all these things as there was still a void within me that I didn’t fully understand or consciously rationalize. In hind sight, I believe that is why I unconsciously began to sabotage my own success. I began to take irrational risks, starting locking myself away from people and fell into a depression. Along the way, meeting the woman that I would fall in love with created a giant peak in this otherwise perpetually self-destructive trough. In the end I would leave her because I couldn’t hold my own life together, this was by far of the most painful things that I ever did and was the salt on what could only be described as a wound of a life that I was then living. I can still feel that day as write this was to be, although I did not know it then, the beginning of the end of that phase of my life which was to lead to massive shifts and changes.
The 2 months leading up to me coming to Dubai seemed to be as though the universe was unraveling a the beginnings of my path for me. I had been applying for jobs and there was one company that had invited me for an interview. I had actually turned down the interview as I didn’t think the company was really right for me; nevertheless, they called me up and convinced me to come in the next week and were quite persuasive on the phone and said they would fast track me through their process. I went out of curiosity and listened as they explained if I work to work for them that I would have to choose from various places around the globe to work. They mentioned places such as Mexico, Moscow, Egypt and eventually said Dubai. For some reason that got the cogs inside my mind turning as I had no intention of moving abroad for work; however, I was familiar with Dubai, had been there several times and thought to myself this could be an interesting opportunity. After all, at this point I really had nothing to lose and whilst I had not been offered the job yet I thought that I might as well see where this goes. Shortly after, I received a telephone interview from their Middle East director and was eventually told that I had the position.
I had nothing to lose but I had nothing to use either, or so I thought. With what little money and time I had I decided to get any shifts at bars or pubs that I could, I put everything I could possibly sell on the internet. The included my treasured guitar and equipment, that was something I thought I would never sell! Even during this process I received a check in the mail that I was not expecting for a significant amount of money from a residual commission from my last company. Somehow all the pieces were falling into place very rapidly as though the universe intended for me to go to Dubai.
When I arrived in Dubai I very quickly got started in my new job and realized even more quickly that it was not the right company for me to be in and not the kind of people I wanted to be around. Whilst I enjoyed being in Dubai the job felt meaningless and soulless to me and that wasn’t good for my state of mind. I was searching for something that would take me to the next level in my life and would take me out of what was feeling like a circular rut.
I studied psychology for many years and had become interested in NLP some time ago. Very early on in Dubai I began searching for companies to do an NLP course with and had found one in particular that stood out to me. Despite having done this, I put my interest on attending the course on the back burner for a while and continued working in the financial industry. When I think about it’s almost crazy to continue doing something where you don’t feel like you belong and your heart is not in too it.
Gradually, I started to entertain the idea of doing some coaching and counseling in Dubai and began to talk to people about it. In the end, a friend of mine said to me ‘‘just go for!’’, so I did! Advice, not unlike that of the Nike slogan, ‘‘Just Do It’’, and perhaps the three most useful, powerful and profound words that could ever be said to someone. As soon as I shifted to this mindset, things started to change; useful people even began to appear in my life. And for a few years thought of creating a coaching and counseling company, and it made sense since my entire academic history was geared towards it. Little did I know I had begun to utilize the ‘Act As If’ frame from NLP.
I had moved into a better role in digital media and was doing my coaching and counseling on the side. Things were starting to change for me, yet the path was still unclear. The first thing I did when I went into this role was book myself onto the NLP Practitioner course! This was a subject I had been interested on for so long and I was finally getting to do it. I had that feeling of knowing this is the right thing for you to be doing.
I had done my research on the NLP industry in the Middle East and what I do have to point out is that I gave Matrix a call and Carol Talbot called me back personally. More importantly, we had a long conversation where we talked about all aspects of the course and the ways in which it useful. I have a background in psychology and had been around a lot of NLP trainers and practitioners in the past, and if I am totally honest I was a little jaded by the industry in the UK. However, the way Carol answered my question was with style and substance. From speaking to her on the phone I knew she was an expert! And most importantly without having to say she was great at what she does, it came across in the way that she composes herself and communicated with others. So that was it for me, I was set on attending this course.
During the interim, things were getting tougher at work and I was learning a lot of lessons in how to deal with difficult people. There was even a point where I had become so upset with the situation that I was almost going to postpone attending the NLP course. When I look back on that I can’t believe I could even entertain such an idea, and I am so glad that I did not follow through on such thoughts.
I remember the feeling I got on the first morning that I attended the course, I had that feeling when you know you are doing something just right for you. I was really curious as to who else would be on the course and what kinds of people I would meet. It was a child like curiousity and best of all it was a great group of people that were on the course at that time. I still think it was the best NLP practitioner group; however, I am openly biased about that.
What amazed me about attending the course was how quickly and immediately shifts and changes tool place, not only in the training room but also in my personal and professional life. Whilst I was having difficulties at work, the state and resources that I was empowered with during the course allowed me to start managing my manager and dealing more effectively with that relationship. At this point I also had a set of regular clients I would see in my coaching and counseling company, and within days I was using the tools and techniques with them during the sessions. It was blowing my mind the results that were being achieved and the people I was connecting to during the whole experience.
I believe that it was attending this course that supercharged me a long my career path, giving me the tools and resources; mental, emotional and otherwise that have accelerated my on my path. By now I was 100% set on developing me in the field of psychology, particularly NLP and using my company as through which I would do it. These were exciting times and were still not without their challenges.
Things were getting tougher at work and I was not longer seeing eye-to-eye with the company and this resulted in us having to part ways. The whole process was quite emotionally draining; however, I could see my goals much more clearly and understood the direction I needed to go in in order to achieve it. Leaving the company was a blessing in disguise when I look back because I was given the opportunity to attend the NLP master practitioner program which was going to take me to a whole new level. When I was studying the material for the course, I remember thing, ‘this exactly what I needed to learn’. Also, given the success of the practitioner course, I couldn’t wait to apply the new learning that I was developing here. Furthermore, I would get to both deliver and experience a breakthrough at the end of the program. It was during this process that both Wendy and Carol really shined because even whilst I was open to the experience I was still a little complacent as to the extent to which it would work on me. Now I know how powerful the process is and most importantly, these insights I gained as to how I was really treating myself are still useful to me even to this day. I was never one to very readily share deep emotions with others, particularly, if they were seemingly negative one. That’s why it is a testament to the quality of the instructors to create such a safe and sincere environment that invites real change and growth to occur.
Having completed the program I felt that I had already accomplished something great in my life and that I was taking significant steps to where I wanted to be in my life. The journey was still not over though and some of the biggest steps were to come. I had dreamed of becoming an NLP trainer for a long time and didn’t foresee it happening anytime soon. As it happened the first Trainers Training was being held by Matrix and I was invited to attend. I was still out of work which created an interesting predicament; I now had the time to attend such an extensive course but did not have the finances to hand. Nevertheless, if I had learnt anything from the course is that I am my own resource and that it was up to me to create the results I wanted. The idea of attending the program was so exciting and inspiring I remember saying to Wendy on the phone ‘I will bend reality if I have to’, in order to attend. Coupled, with the amount of effort the Matrix team had put into me I felt it was my duty to succeed and what a beautiful obligation to have!
It’s amazing, when you really want something so badly that your mind begins to work so differently. I thought of every possible avenue through which I could raise the finances to follow my dream and more importantly followed up on each of those avenues. This was a real belief shift for me because I did succeed at doing it. In the end only three of the many ideas I had paid off and that was enough to get on to the program. This experience stays with me to this day and it is proof to me that when you want to create or do something in your life and there doesn’t appear to be the resources or circumstances you require, it is still possible if you make it happen! When I think of this time, I realize truly that there are no excuses and that the most powerful resource we have is our creativity.
The Trainers Training was the most intense training I ever went through, and again opened me up to new ways of thinking. This was the tipping point that was to send me into the training industry, which is a significant potion now of what I am building my career on. Had you asked me 6 months before if I would have been an NLP trainer so soon, I probably wouldn’t have been able to conceive of the idea. Since then I have had opportunities to travel for work abroad, trained a 5 star hotel, delivered for government organizations, coached on NLP programs and built up my own business even more!
The best thing is that my journey always feels as if it’s in its infancy and that there is so much to create and do still. Whilst this is a small portion of my journey, what I have learnt that that circumstances are a reflection of state of mind. There were many challenges along the way and many difficult people I had to deal with. There were also just as many opportunities along the way and many wonderful people I got to connect with. If I had accepted any of my obstacles as failures then I would have been defeated, instead I choose to see them as blessings in disguise. If I hadn’t left my first job after university, I would never have fallen in love; if I hadn’t fallen in love, I wouldn’t have realize what was important to me in life and shifted my values accordingly. If I hadn’t left my ex-girlfriend I would ended up settling into a job that I didn’t want, instead I would have settled for a mediocre job and would have created a mediocre life. If hadn’t gone to the interview with the financial company I wouldn’t have come to Dubai. If I hadn’t got the job with the media company I wouldn’t have attended the NLP Practitioner course. And if I hadn’t parted ways with the company I would have had the time to attend the NLP Master Practitioner Course and Trainers Training. Also, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to discover and put to the test how opportunities and resources can be created. If I hadn’t attended the Trainers Training, I wouldn’t currently be working in the training industry now and wouldn’t be traveling the world do the things that I love. Most importantly and special to me, if I hadn’t embarked on my NLP journey I wouldn’t have met so many wonderful people who have taught me, inspired me and quite simply make my life better for knowing them.
I have become no stranger to life throwing curve balls at me and now I have the experience, tools and resources to use these curve balls and challenges as opportunities to create bigger and better things in my life. Life has given me such an eclectic mix of experiences and from that I could have made an infinite number of choices. What it proves is that we focus on, what we think day-to-day, how we translate that into our behaviors is how we get our results. Looking back it feels like I could have accepted defeat at any moment along the way and blame the world, people or circumstances for what didn’t go my way.
NLP has taught me that we are responsible for our results as there is only one person we can truly influence in our lives and that is our self. NLP enlightened me as to how to focus my mind and energy in effective ways so that I am the one who defines my experience. We all have more than one story that we could tell ourselves about how our life is; however, what we choose to tell ourselves is precisely that! A choice! What NLP has given me is the power to choose more effectively and the tools to be more creative in my life. This is the recipe for getting results! One of coaches in Matrix, Zee, said to me ‘whether you get results or make excuses, you’ll always be right!’ So, now I choose to focus on getting the results I want and utilizing whatever life send my way.
Also, I would like to give special mention to the Matrix team who have become very dear friends to me and assisted my in ways throughout my journey that have been truly inspirational. They are not only experts at what they do, they are gifted and talented!!! Trainers and coaches of this caliber only exist when they come from the heart, are sincere and have a genuine passion for what they do! I can say as a matter of fact my life would not be at all the same or half as good without them and for that I will be forever grateful!! So, to my dear friends Carol Talbot, Wendy Shaw and Zee Gilmore! THANK YOU!!!
Well, this is portion of my story so far and who knows what’s next or round the corner! One thing I do know is that I have the tools, resources and most importantly, the inspiration to embrace it with love and happiness. This is what NLP has brought into my life!!!
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